


Only for tonight

by Onthinax



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Carmilla - Freeform, Carmilla/Laura angst, F/F, I wrote this forever ago and have made some significant changes, One Shot, Suicidal Thoughts, idk - Freeform, kind of, look i made a real summary, takes place after s2 episode 30, unsure about the title but i'm giving it a go, what are tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24208381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onthinax/pseuds/Onthinax
Summary: “I won’t be here in the morning.”It’s not cold, it’s not cutting, it’s not even harsh. Her voice simply sounds defeated, broken, raw. Hurt. Laura hopes she's lying.
Relationships: Laura Hollis/Carmilla Karnstein
Comments: 3
Kudos: 35





	Only for tonight

It’s nearly 2 AM. Laura hasn’t slept. Lafontaine is sleeping - or rather, recovering from having their mind controlled by a giant angry fish-god - upstairs. Danny and Kirsch have long gone, and Carmilla… Well... If Laura knew where Carm was, she’d be dead.

_“The next one of you who comes near me, I swear to god, I WILL KILL.”_

That was the last thing Carm – _Carmilla_ \- had said to her. It felt pointed, like she meant it. Like she meant Laura too. At this point, Laura isn’t even sure that any of it really happened. She wishes it hadn’t, but the rational part of herself knows it did. That rational-self left when Laura found herself sounding truly insane sob-laughing in the wine cellar. They never did get around to drinking that champagne, did they? For some reason, the thought had been another punch in the gut. The chance for that would never come now, would it? So now, standing in the solarium or rather; standing on the edge of the balcony of the solarium, she’s got a bottle of expensive champagne in her hand, but can’t bring herself to drink it. She simply stares at it, rather than at the ground below.

After what might be minutes or an hour of staring at the faded label, Laura tosses the bottle off of the edge, staring blankly as it falls before smashing to pieces on the ground. If she were to fall, she wonders, would she shatter to pieces? _It’s my fault. I killed her sister. I would deserve it._ She starts shaking, the thoughts coming unwelcome into her mind as she begins to sob. Holding onto the railing, she can feel herself sway just slightly over it. Staring down, upper body fully over the railing, nails digging into the railing. A voice from the door makes Laura jump, spinning around, eyes red and swollen.

“Still acting like a child then?”

The words are cold, but not as cold as Laura would have expected. Was that a tinge of worry edging her words? Surely not, that had to be from the hopeful part of Laura’s imagination, the part that hoped earlier was all a bad dream. She blinks stupidly at Carmilla, her brain not fully accepting that it's actually _her_ standing there, all leather pants and crossed arms.

“Carm I-” 

She’s cut off before she can even decide how to finish that sentence.

“You don’t get to call me that anymore.” 

This time, her voice is exactly what Laura would expect, and she flinches. Finally, their eyes meet, but to her surprise, Carmilla’s hold no anger or malice. No, it’s so much worse to look in those eyes that usually would hold love and mischief, and see nothing. They stare at each other for a full minute. Ten minutes. Finally, there’s a subtle change, the hard edges soften just slightly. Carmilla steps forward, and Laura thinks it’s to her credit that she doesn’t flinch. Really, Laura just can’t bring herself to be afraid, even if Carm does intend to fling her over the edge. She's not even sure she would mind. However, to her great surprise and disbelief, she doesn't join the shards of glass on the ground below. Instead, painfully gentle hands guide her inside to a couch. She lays there, watching Carmilla, a shadow perched on the edge of the couch, seeming to be determinedly _not_ looking at Laura. Just when she thinks she might be able to find her voice to say something, Carmilla stands as though to leave. Panic fills Laura and she bolts upright.

“Wait!”

Once again, she’s stunned when the shadowy Carmilla stops, one hand on the door handle. She doesn’t turn, but she doesn’t leave either. Laura’s mouth works for a moment, no sound coming out. She swallows hard, wondering why her throat feels so dry. When she finally speaks, it’s barely above a whisper.

“Stay?”

Silence stretches, and Laura thinks her thundering heart is so loud she might miss it if Carm says anything. Finally, the shadow moves back towards her, coming back into focus as she lay down beside Laura, one arm over her.

“I won’t be here in the morning.”

It’s not cold, it’s not cutting, it’s not even harsh. Her voice simply sounds defeated, broken, raw. Hurt. Laura feels fresh tears flow silently from her eyes and she nods once, not trusting her voice. She falls asleep, hoping more than anything that she’s lying, that she’ll still be there tomorrow. When she wakes, she’s disappointed to find herself alone on the couch. For a moment, she wonders if she imagined her, if last night was just a dream, until she realizes that the blanket she’s beneath isn’t a blanket at all – it’s a leather jacket, and it feels like home. Her tears are anything but silent.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first attempt at writing fanfic, hope y'all enjoy! 
> 
> I keep coming back to this and making small edits here or there, this is my fic baby honestly. At this point it's a lot different from when I first posted it, and, I think, a lot better.


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